You probably wouldn't understand, but it's okay

I am suppose to be sleeping or studying (not in the mood as usual), but oh well, decided to write some stuff down.

Constantly disturbed recently, i can't concentrate. I am distracted.

Too much to think about, to forget about, and hopefully to forgive.

Let's believe I can.
I know I can.


* i just realised the title is so emo.
it's ok, i am not a 14 yo teenage hiding round a dark corner trying to kill herself. and i believe tomorrow's gonna be a better day. way better.

CAUTION: THIS IS A RANDOM RANT THAT YOU CAN JUST SKIP

Hey guys! Haven't been here for a while after my Penang trip but well, I am back!

Back to my blog, Back in Melbourne, Back to uni.

This feels real, everything feels real. Time, people, places. They feel real to me. And it's dreadful, I can't face all these. I don't understand how these happened. It was like just 3 months ago I lead an easy life, I feel loved and surrounded, I am all happy and I owned a clear brain, no jealousy no confusion no dillema. The more I thought about it, it feels further, it feels surreal, it feels dreamy, like I had entered a time gap or a blackhole or somethingfor the last few months, I dont know, I don't read sci-fi.

Now that I am back, away far far away from my comfort zone. And these monster of confusion, jealousy and dillema that've been in hibernation for a while pops out gradually. What should I say, what should I do, how should I react, where is my self esteem.

Please stop saying I am independent, please stop saying I am totally happy-go-lucky.

This is overwhelming.

Of course I am happy and I appreciate those lovely words. And I know you're honest.

It's just that you saw only my chirpy cheerful side.

I ain't saying that it's just a facade, and when you start digging and scanning into the wall and column you found all sadness and melancolic. No I ain't saying that.

It's just that I do have my sentimental side.

I laugh a lot, I talk a lot, I scream a lot.

But I think, I cry, and I wishes for the best too.

May be I am just too noisy for you to realised that I do think, Like A LOT.

And you might not believe it (when I am always the one that forgot to bring my sketchbook, pencils and when is my next classs whatsoever), I remembers a lot too.

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I don't know, this is a lil personal.

Whatever. I think I'll just publish this. Who cares it bores you to hell, I warned you. and this is MY blog.

random add-in: I miss you and I love you, my fam!

and Final Words: I am happy right this moment, after all this useless rants like a loser.

PENANG

Lousy title =.=" but i can't think of a better one.

But yea, just been back from a short trip to Penang. Great shopping trip with my mummmy!

But it was short ugh. VERY SPECIAL THANKS to the CHANGE OF SCHEDULE of the cheapskate red coloured themed airline ( you do know what i m talking about and i don't wanna get sued)!

Anyway, photo sharing slash show off time.!!




Meet my beloved ais kacang, long-time-no-see cendol, ever-awesome si-kuei-teng and lo-bak!!

and SHOPPING SPREEE!! Bought lovely fake-print tee, and ... oh,

I have to apologize here, my fellow male reader. The following part of text is gonna bore the hell out of you. So, skipping is welcome, just don't hate me.





Sooo fake print tees, bubble skirt, canvas bag and a pair of nice t bar heels. And look, I started to work out what i think is matching already haha. Oh i am still so in love with my lovely vest afterall!

And ohhhhh, did I tell you I bumped into Lin You Jia? FYI if you are not into mandarin music, he is a young chinese singer from Taiwan, who has 'Yoga' as his English name and I wonder if he loves yoga that much. I do, though.

Strictly speaking, it's not exactly like I BUMPED INTO HIM, but I sorta saw his promo tour or something at Gurney Plaza. It was a HOT day that I almost fainted and I am so surprised to see him there. UNDER THE SUN. Well, it's not like I like him so much or what, it's just that I found that torturing to stand under that burning sun for more than 10 minutes. It's hard, even to breath.



OMG he is soo skinny. It's NOT LIKE I M JEALOUS. NO. NO.

Anyway (I love this word, such a GOOD(?!?!) starting), come think about it, I always bump into some celebrity unexpectedly. Did I tell you i bumped into Wu Zhun before?

It was around 3 years back then when I still live most of my time of a year in KK, in college doing A-level. Then there was one HOT day (again, but that's the truth) me and my family went to the temple for my late grandma. and there was where i bumped into WuZhun. yes, a temple! And you know what, his precious someone (i can't recall. was that his grandma too?) was worshipped at the samewing (out of all those wingsss they have) and same floor as my grandma's. Unbelievable.

(pic prove haha.)

But honestly it's not like I am a fan of WuZhun too. He just has cute face, that's ALL.
Ugh i just can't bump into the celebrity i like. Robert Pattinson? David Archuleta? Okay i know that's almost impossible. I am just sayin'.
But Gary Chaw? He origins from Sabah and I LOVE his songs. How come I never bumped into him?!!? TOMORROW.

Digging thru the old stuff and LOOK!how cute is the registration tag!

Howdy guys.

Was tidying and updating my photo album.

but you know, tidying album wasn't any fun if you doesn't flick through and look through them, er like this is the main purpose of keeping albums, no? although I am quite sure that makes you took 5000 times longer time to straighten out your album haha.

It worth it I guess, looking at what I found.


Look at the license plate, isn't that hilarious?

0RLALA!!

But i was thinking how possible it is to have a registration tag start with '0'(zero), and no other number else. Tell me, how is this possible.

But hey don't you ever doubt the originality of the photo!!! Yours truly took it somewhere in ChinaTown (Little Bourke st.), Melbourne, around half a year ago.




I thought this is CUTER. Mr, I LOVE your registration tag, and I would pay ________________ (please fill in the blank as you wish, mr owner) for it. take me seriosuly wtf.

Btw, yours truly took this as well. Taken at almost the same time as the ORLALA one and they were short distance away. How lovely. (right?)

Thanks

Been away for a while, busy with my trip to Brunei and bringing friends around in Kota Kinabalu. Gonna update that later.

This is like a typical reader-less blog's blog entries, too common too boring ugh, but I have not much of idea what and how to sort out and i guess i am too lazy to. Just feel like writing a let-it-be entry hm.

What am I saying here and what am I gonna say here.

Um,

To begin with, I received a video wishing me happy 21st birthday from my lovely Melbourne friends. A million thanks for their effort. It makes me laugh so badly till my stomach ache everytime I saw it. I don't know how many more videos will I get in my life, but the chances are rare, so thanks, I am so gonna keep this forever. Guys, you make my day.

A picture to end the post. Some spring cleanning that I've been doing and here are my plush sayangsssss under the sun.

My to-do list 2: Talk slower

I have been and always been talking fast, too fast.

You might be thinking 'oh so you knew it!! but why are you still talking soooo fast?'

I have been wanting to answer this question, digging holes to my heart and brain, but I am sorry, I am seriously clueless.

I guessed I am born to be. That's the only reason that makes sense.

Other possible rationalities?
(a) I am good with language (no, 'cause talking quickly doesn't makes any effective relationship with language level, for instance i am still bad in English)
(b) I have lungs with small capacity, so I have to breathe more often (so I have to finish the sentence before my next in/exhale)
(c) I am always nervous ( okay i have to admit that i kinda get nervous easily and i do talk quicker and mumbles when i am nervous, but hell, it's not like it makes sense that i am nervous 24-7!)

See, I couldn't figure what is the reason behind except this lousy excuse that I am born to be so.

Anyway, it's not like I never try to speak slower. There were several times at different point of my life that i did make efforts to talk slower and clearer. But those never works. Speaking slower makes me sounds emotionless and monotonous, it just sounds weird. And I get back to the usual 129867663298175666498km/SEC talking speed me almost immediately. Ugh.

No it's a new decade i think it's time (hahas).

So this is kinda like my new year resolution, I wanna speak slower, clearer. Gimme courage and persistance.

My to-do list 1: frequent swimming

It has been a while since the last update, I was just a bit restless. I mean my mind, 'cause exercising (CONSTANTLY) is still in my 'TO-DO LIST'.

Trying to keep myself swimming 2-3 times per week, and it was tolerable enjoyable so far ( 2 weeks almost). But seriously it was my favourite exercise slash past time (besides shopping and food meeting) at the moment, I enjoy every moment of peaceful morning under the blue chlorine water, it puts my mind at ease. With every movement it gives you a dash, and i love the simple fact that the effort you give in, is directly proportional to the distance you made (so undienably science background ugh, but i no longer remember what's the formula to calculate momentum from velocity). Simple and fair.

But I am so afraid of getting too tan. (asian huh? hah.) Any recommendation of good sunscreen or something, girl friends? Indoor swimming pool is not available in here fyi, the sea, ships, trees and blue sky here are too awesome to be out of eye sight blocked by walls decorated with schools of merry-looking dolphins leaping painting( i love dolphins but their appearance in paintings are exploited) when you thrust.

That's it atm and next update would be soon. I am trying to blog more while I am free, for writing is better than er, facebooking, at least slightly, no?

p/s this is not a new year resolution.